Night and Day
by mstersunderthebed
Summary: It is the night of October 31, 1981. Sirius comes home in a huff and he and Remus have it out. What a difference a night makes. WOLFSTAR
1. Prologue: October 31

**A/N I do not own any of the characters portrayed in this short story. Rated T for language. This is Wolfstar, so if you don't like it, don't read it. Anyway, please read and review XD**

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Remus Lupin woke up before the dawn on the morning of November 1st full of apprehension. Where his stomach had once been, there was a huge pit that felt like it would swallow him whole. He spent those few moments before full consciousness trying to piece together exactly why he felt this way.

There had been a fight. Yes, with Sirius. That wasn't unusual though. They had been fighting quite a bit as of late, and while the fights tended to leave him feeling run over by a magic carpet, he never woke up with a black hole in his stomach. His had stretched out to the side of the bed looking for the familiar lump and found only sheets. Suddenly the events of the past night hit him, and he finally understood the feeling in his stomach.

Sirius had thought he was a spy.

Remus was indeed a spy, but one for the Order. He was tasked with infiltrating Voldemort's contingent of werewolves.

But Sirius had gotten it into his head that….that he was a double agent…whose true allegiance with Voldemort.

It started when Sirius came back to their small flat the evening before. He was in a huff. Huffs were something that Sirius was very good at. He could rival little Harry in the huffs he had. He collapsed on their battered couch and stared moodily at the small crack in the wall that hadn't been there when Remus went on his mission for the Order.

Remus was in the kitchenette, making some dinner. Sirius hadn't noticed that he was there, which saddened Remus. He'd been gone for the past two weeks on a mission with the Order, living with a coalition of werewolves, trying to get them not to sign on to Voldemort's plan. He thought his trip was a success with getting a few to change their minds. At least Dumbledore had told him that his trip was a success.

Remus cleared his throat, causing Sirius to jump and turn around.

"Hey," Remus had said.

"Oh, you're back." Sirius was usually so happy to see him, but here his voice was monotone. There was no bounding across the living room to kiss him, like the last time Remus was out on assignment.

"I'm making dinner. It's your favorite. Boxed macaroni and cheese with sliced up hot dog."

"Goody."

"Sirius, what's wrong?"

"I haven't seen James in two weeks."

"What? Why?"

"He's in hiding with Lily and Harry. Fidelius charm."

"Well they made you Secret Keeper, right? Why can't you see them?"

A stormy look crossed his face, like he had said something he shouldn't have. "Yes, of course I'm Secret Keeper, but Dumbledore said that they shouldn't have any visitors. It's for their safety."

"Oh."

"Hmmph" Sirius went back to staring at the crack in the wall. Tension filled the flat for a prolonged moment, and Remus went to add the macaroni to the boiling water.

"How did your assignment go?" Sirius asked as the last noodle found its way into the pot.

"Better than usual I suppose."

"Are you going to tell me what you were doing this time?"

"Sirius, you know that I can't. My missions are Top Secret. Dumbledore would have my hide if I ever talked about them to you."

"Just to me? Can you tell the rest of the Order?" There was venom in his voice.

"No, of course not! My position's too precarious. I can't tell anyone!"

Sirius mumbled something, and Remus, who hated it when Sirius mumbled said, "What was that?"

"I said: Likely story."

"And why is that a likely story? It's the truth."

"Sure it is. And Regulus and I get together for Tea every Sunday at four."

Remus didn't have time to refute that, for the pasta began to boil over. "Shit, shit, shit, shit."

Water was everywhere. Hot water was everywhere. Hot water was on his skin. It scalded.

Remus ran to the sink, running cool water over the red patch of skin that was once his forearm.

"That's right, ignore me," said Sirius, standing behind Remus.

Remus turned around, defensive. "I'm not ignoring you! Your dinner almost burned my arm off!"

"I don't mean just now. I mean ignoring me like you have been the past two months."

"I…I haven't ignored you! I've had Order business to attend to. Just the same as you."

"You never wrote to me! I wrote to you at least once every couple of days."

"I couldn't write to you!"

"WHY NOT?"

"I-I-I…" Remus couldn't tell him. He never broke promises, and he had promised Dumbledore to keep his assignments secret.

Sirius's face was dark. He gripped Remus's shoulders tightly. So tightly that he forgot the pain in his arm.

"Remus. Tell me, just tell me what you are doing." His voice was deathly calm.

"Sirius, I can't. Dumbledore…"

"Dumbledore Schmumblebore. Remus, I can't trust you if you don't tell me. Do you want to know what I've been doing? I've been going to houses that have the Dark Mark over them, trying to figure out why those families were killed. I've been searching through the grittiest parts of England, looking for Dark Magic. I've killed three Death Eaters because they were trying to kill me or Dorcas, or someone else. Just tell me what you have been doing. Just tell me."

Remus was losing the circulation in his arms. The look in Sirius's eyes made him want to tell Sirius everything. About the long nights under the stars where he only wanted to be lying next to him. Where he stared up at the star that Sirius was named after, and he talked to it, pretending that Sirius was listening. About the full moon where he ran in a pack of other werewolves, and how free he felt. About Cassie Leech, the young woman who he convinced to leave the pack and rejoin society. About the fight he got into with Justice Treestone because he wasn't "going with the program." About how he still had every letter that Sirius wrote to him in his suitcase. But Remus didn't break promises.

"Sirius, I want to tell you but…" Sirius's grip loosened and he left the kitchenette. Remus looked at what was supposed to be dinner, and gave it up as a lost cause.

"Remus, tell me you aren't a Death Eater."

"Of course not, why would you think that?"

"You're not spending time with werewolves then?"

Remus was silent.

"Right. That's what you've been doing. Running with werewolves."

Remus opened his mouth, but found himself to be struck dumb.

"Running with werewolves. Infiltrating their side. Have you been able to convince anyone that Voldemort's the bad guy?"

Remus couldn't speak, but since Sirius knew, somehow, he held up three fingers.

"You've been gone for two weeks at a time for four months. And you've only convinced three people? Three? What have you been doing the rest of the time. Wanking?"

"Sirius…I"

"I understand. If we win the war, your life goes to shit. Shittier than before. Because you are never going to get hired. You're always going to be hard up for cash. If Voldemort wins, well then, life for you will probably get better. Especially if you're working for him."

Remus looked at Sirius, not recognizing him as the man he loved, not recognizing him as his best friend. Anger boiled up in him, just like the pot of macaroni.

"You think that I, Remus Lupin, have defected to Voldemort's side? You think that I, Remus Lupin, would forsake your friendship and love, forsake the friendship and love of the first friends I have ever had because the King of Lies, Lord Voldemort says he will make my life easier if I sign with him?" Remus pulled out his right arm, the scalded arm and shouted "DO YOU SEE A FUCKING DARK MARK HERE?"

"No. But that doesn't mean you don't sympathize. You could still be a spy."

Remus grabbed the nearest thing and threw it. Sirius ducked the heavy transfiguration text book and stood up.

"I don't know you anymore, Remus. The man I fell in love with always told me everything. Everything. He told me at the end of seventh year that he was in love with me. He kissed me with more passion than any girl I'd ever kissed. He would have been honest with me from the start. He never would have hidden his life from me. I can't believe you are who you say you are anymore. I'm leaving." His voice was dead, monotone, as if he had given up on life. He made his way towards the door.

"Sirius, where are you going?"

"Out. I'll be back for my things in the morning." And with that he left the flat with Remus standing outside the kitchenette, his arm still thrust forth, still an angry red, with food burning on the stove. He didn't move until he heard the motorcycle rev and head out into the distance.

Remus found the firewhiskey that he had bought to celebrate his homecoming. He made his way to the couch and threw his body onto it. He didn't bother with shot glasses, deciding that a night like tonight was not one for shot glasses.

He drank until he forgot the argument. He drank until he forgot moving in with Sirius the year before. He drank until he forgot his first shag with Sirius. He drank until he forgot his first kiss. He drank until he didn't feel so horrible, until he could pretend that tonight, the past three years never happened.

He stumbled back to bed well past midnight, more drunk than he had ever been before. He was asleep before his head reached the pillow.

Remus checked the clock and saw that it was only five am. His werewolf metabolism meant he didn't have a hangover, but he now remembered the previous night's events in full. He knew he was never going to get back to sleep.

He looked outside the window; Sirius's motorbike was still missing, which meant he was still out and hopefully calmed down some. Remus smoothed his hair back and made his way to the kitchenette to get some tea.

He found the pot and a mug, and when he turned to get the tea, he was face to face with Albus Dumbledore.

"Professor Dumbledore! What are you doing here?" The black hole in his stomach had expanded to fill his whole body. If Dumbledore was here, something was terribly, terribly wrong.

"Remus, I have asked you time and time again to call me Albus."

"Sorry, Albus, but what's wrong, what are you doing here?"

"I wanted to speak to you before you read the Prophet this morning. There is…terrible news, and some wonderful news." Dumbledore's voice was sad, and Remus knew his world was about to be shattered. "Make your tea and we will talk." Dumbledore headed to the couch in the living room.

"D-do you want anything?"

"No thank you Remus, I am fine for the moment."

And so Remus made his tea, and went to join Dumbledore on the couch.

"So what is the terrible news, pro-Albus?"

"I will tell you the good news first. Voldemort is gone, defeated, for now."

For a split second, Remus was elated. The dark days were over, he could convince Sirius that he was never working for Voldemort, and life would go back to normal, whatever normal was. But Dumbledore's face dashed that hope before it even took hold.

"Ok, so what is the terrible news?"

"James and Lily are dead, Remus. Voldemort killed them." Remus couldn't believe this. It was impossible. "But…but Sirius said there was a Fidelius charm in place. That he was their Secret Keeper! And what about Harry?"

"Harry is the reason that Voldemort is gone. When Lily sacrificed herself to save him, the curse bounced off him and hit Voldemort. And, yes there was a Fidelius charm in place. And yes, Sirius was their Secret-Keeper. This is the second prong of the bad news I am here to deliver. Sirius was working for Voldemort. He betrayed James and Lily, and when he heard that his master was gone, went mad. He ran into Peter Pettigrew on a muggle street. Peter had heard what happened and publicly accused him. Reports say that he was laughing as he killed Peter and thirteen muggles. He was arrested two hours ago, still laughing." Dumbledore reached a hand to Remus's in condolence.

The black hole had been filled. Now Remus just felt heavy. He felt as if there was a Dementor in the room for he doubted that he would ever be happy again. James, Lily, and Peter. Dead. Sirius, the one who killed him.

Remus tried to connect last night's events to the ones that Dumbledore had told him. Why had Sirius accused him of being a spy, when Sirius was the one who was the spy?

"It doesn't make sense."

"I know, Remus. I know. We all trusted Sirius, and James bet his family's life on that trust. "

"Last night Sirius accused me of being a spy for Voldemort. He thought that my missions for the Order had compromised me. It doesn't make sense."

"Sirius probably felt guilty Remus. He had betrayed his friends and was projecting that guilt onto you. Or maybe he wanted you to be on Voldemort's side, so that when Voldemort won, you two could still be together." Dumbledore's hand was still there, a feeble attempt to comfort Remus's loss.

He had lost all his friends in one night. No more James laughing. No more Peter squirming. No more Lily smiling. No more Sirius….

No more Sirius anything. For the first time since he went to Hogwarts, he contemplated suicide, for this was the lowest point he could conceive. He had no friends, his family had been killed the year before. There was nothing anymore.

"I know it seems dark, Remus. But there is still hope. Harry is still alive. He is living with his Aunt and Uncle, he is safe."

"With his Aunt and Uncle? Lily's sister? The muggles? I've heard stories about them! They hate magic! They hate Lily and James! How can you send Harry to live with them?"

"They are the only family he has left."

"He could stay with me; I could take care of him. It's what Lily and James would have wanted!"

"Harry must stay with his family Remus. It's the only way he can be safe."

Anger filled him, "Is that a reference to my condition?"

"Of course not Remus. You would make a wonderful father to Harry. It's just that I have reason to believe that Voldemort is not completely gone. There is a protection that his aunt's blood affords him. As long as he calls her house his home, he will be safe there."

"Voldemort's not gone? But you said-"

"A man like Voldemort would have taken steps to ensure his survival. I am sure of it. I want Harry to be protected for as long as possible."

"Can I see him at least?"

"I am afraid that would not be wise at the moment. As you have said yourself, Vernon and Petunia Dursley hate magic. You will be able to see him when he is older, after he starts at Hogwarts."

Remus was silent for a moment. "Remus, I know how this must feel for you. I have had similar experiences myself. If you ever need anyone to talk to, I am just an owl away."

"Thank you Albus. I expect you will be hearing a lot from me for a while."

"Just remember Remus, Hogwarts will always be there to welcome you home." Dumbledore stood up, and Remus rose with him. They shook hands and Dumbledore left the apartment, a sad smile upon his face.

Remus knew that killing himself was out of the question. The minute Harry was old enough, he would tell him everything about his parents. Goodness knows, his aunt and uncle would lie through their teeth about the child's parents.

That would be what he would focus on. Collecting every memory he could find to give to the boy. Every photograph, every letter. And once they met again, he would tell him all the good things about Lily and James. All the things that mattered. He would tell him of Peter, the quiet boy who finally found his courage at the end. But he would say nothing of his godfather. For Sirius Black was dead to Remus. There would be no tears shed for that traitor, no fond remembrances. He was evil incarnate, and deserved nothing better than to live in Azkaban for the rest of his days.

With that thought Remus Lupin looked around the flat. He would have to burn a good portion of the bookshelf and half of the closet space. After that, he would leave, find a new place to live, however hard that managed to be. He'd find a job, somewhere, and live his life as best he could. At least there were the other members of the Order, the ones who were comfortable with him at least. Maybe Kingsley would let him crash for a few days until he was back on his feet.


	2. The Summer of 1993

A/N: This is a much shorter chapter than the last one, but I wanted to get this banged out. I think it's pretty crappy, but I promise it's going to get better. I might expand this later when I'm not too tired and such. Anyways, read and review :)

12 years later.

June 1993

For the fourth time in a year, Remus Lupin found himself without a place to live. He couldn't call Kingsley again; he couldn't keep staying with him every time his land lord found out he was a werewolf. Plus Remus was pretty sure Kingsley had a girlfriend, and wouldn't appreciate his company anyway. Moody never had visitors, and certainly wouldn't put up with Remus for however long it took to get back on his feet. Maybe it was time to immigrate to America, take up a new identity, and pretend that the past 13 years never happened. He could be Raymond Lewis, a suave Brit looking for a teaching position at the Salem Witches Institute. He would teach Defense Against the Dark Arts…it would be perfect.

But that would mean leaving Harry.

He hadn't met him yet, as much as he wanted to. Two years ago, when Harry was 11, he wanted so much to be the one who introduced Harry to the world of magic, but when the time came, it had been a full moon, and Remus was in no shape to drag Harry around Diagon Alley. So Hagrid was sent instead. Then Dumbledore had advised him against seeing him through the year, something about not overloading the boy. Then last year began Remus's housing troubles and Harry didn't need a homeless man coming and telling him all about his parents…that wouldn't be proper.

Well maybe he could take out a room at the Leakey Cauldron while he looked around for a place to stay that didn't want background check.

Then Remus remembered he was broke.

Well that shot that idea….

Remus took his suitcase and made for Diagon Alley. He had enough money to get a meal at least before he resigned himself to being homeless.

Tom the barman took one look at Remus and told him he could have a room and board for free for a week and work as a waiter until he was back on his feet. Remus thanked him profusely, never expecting such kind action from someone who knew of his condition. As he stammered his thanks Tom put a plate of fish and chips in front of him and told him to eat up.

And so, Lupin's life took a turn for the better. After twelve years of flitting from job to job, flat to flat, he now had a room and three meals a day (which Tom continued to let him have for half the salary he was making as a waiter). He saw friends he hadn't seen in years working at the Cauldron, and he felt healthier than he had in years. Before the full moon came on the fourth of July, Tom made sure he had the Wolfsbane potion the week before and made sure his room was locked the night of. Every time that Remus asked Tom why he was treating him so well, Tom just grinned his goofy grin and told him to go wipe down another table. For a few weeks, life was better than he ever imagined.

On July 31, that changed.

For the second time in his life, Remus Lupin awoke in the early hours of the morning to find Albus Dumbledore in his room. Well that was a lie, the last time he was waiting in the kitchenette. But it was still in the same vein.

"Pro-Albus! What's going on , what are you doing here?"

"Ah Remus, awake I see. Excellent."

"Yes Albus, I'm awake. What's the matter? Is something wrong?"

"This is another case of good news-bad news."

"Well, what's the bad news then? Is there something wrong with Harry?"

"What? No, Harry's fine, aside from his Uncle's sister visiting of course. And I want to tell you the good news first!" Dumbledore smiled his half-smile and patted Remus on the shoulder.

It seems that we have a staff vacancy at Hogwarts for the upcoming term. Defense Against the Dark Arts. If I remember correctly, that was a subject at which you excelled back in your Hogwarts days. And I know for a fact that you have done your best to get research jobs when you have gotten jobs at all."

"But, sir, Albus, I'm not qualified! I've never taught a class before in my life!"

"Ah, but has it not always been your aspiration to be a teacher?"

"Well yes, but…I'm quite happy in my position here."

"As a waiter?" Dumbledore looked incredulous.

"Well…."

"Then it's decided. You'll teach Defense!" Dumbledore clapped his hands together in joy.

"But, what about my condition? Parents won't want a werewolf teaching their children!"

"There are things that the staff of the school are privy to that the rest of the world need not be. Don't worry. Severus can brew you the Wolfsbane potion, and of course the Shack will be available should you ever need it."

"Severus? As in Snape?"

"Yes, of course. He's been teaching Potions for the past 12 years. and is completely qualified to make the Wolfsbane potion."

"He can put aside the childhood grudges then?"

"Yes, Severus has my complete and utter trust in all matters."

"Then, I will take the job. I'll have to give Tom my notice though if I'm to be back on the first of September."

"Tom never expected you to stay past then. He's always known this was a temporary job for you. Though he has told me you're the best employee he has ever had and he will be devastated to see you go. You need time to set up lesson plans, so I've gotten you a flat in Diagon Alley until September first. Tom said you can work when you want, but it's no longer set hours. Come in when you have the time."

"How much is the flat going to cost? Diagon Alley is an expensive place."

"Consider it the first part of your teaching salary" said Dumbledore with a twinkle in his eye.

"Wow," murmured Lupin, shocked at the conversation. The last time Dumbledore had visited him at home his life had been shattered. This time…

"Wait, a minute, you never told me the bad news!"

"Ah well, there has been an escape from Azkaban…." Dumbledore was ringing his hands.

"Oh?" Remus's stomach dropped. For the first time in his life, he wished for Bellatrix Lestrange to be behind something. For if Bellatrix had escaped, it meant that…that he hadn't"

"It's Sirius. It will be in the Prophet in the morning. I just thought you ought to hear it from me first."

"Um, right."

"If you need someone to talk to Remus, remember, I'm always only an owl away. Enjoy the flat, I look forward to seeing your curriculum for the upcoming year" And with one last wan smile, Dumbledore left Remus's room.

Remus didn't move for an hour. Sirius was out. He had escaped. Remus hated himself for being slightly happy that he had escaped. Hated himself for not telling Dumbledore about his Animagus capabilities. Hated himself for wanting Sirius to find him, to explain what happened.

Remus knew why he had been offered the job, Dumbledore wanted to keep an eye on him. Dumbledore knew Remus better than he knew himself. Was Remus going to decline the job? Of course not. It was a teaching position at the best school of magic in the world! Far better than the Salem Witches Institute. So what if Dumbledore wanted to make sure Remus didn't help Sirius? Given their history, it only made sense.

Remus smoothed back his hair. Look at it this way, he told himself, you'll be teaching Harry.

It was August 31, and Remus was packing up his flat in Diagon Alley. He had few belongings, just a few sets of robes, bed sheets, some photographs, and his entire library. All in all, he managed to fit it all into his worn suitcase. All the photos he had managed to collect for Harry had been passed along to Hagrid during Harry's first year. Even though Remus had hoped to pass them onto Harry himself, he thought Hagrid's photo album idea a splendid one, and wanted to contribute as much as he could.

All the furniture had come with the room, but even with the chairs and bed in place, once his scant personal items had been packed it seemed much emptier than it had just the day before. For the fifth time since the morning, Remus checked to see if his train ticket was still in his pocket. He thought it to be a bit silly for a teacher to be taking the train with the students, but even though he told Dumbledore he could apparate to Hogsmeade, Dumbledore insisted that he take the train.


End file.
